Adulting Babygirl

If you met me today, you would get this Babygirl vibe, who is always happy and excited about life and would probably tell you, “Live in the now and be present. The rest ni Kelele.” I would tell you to cultivate the discipline of mindfulness and living in the present gift.

This girl has refused to grow up in the sense of embracing adulting. I still run outside to see planes fly by. I still dance with a makeshift microphone while rapping “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled. I still giggle like a baby whenever I warm my pizza and see the bubbling cheese. And yes. I believe in true love.

I am a full-grown adult by age, don’t get me wrong. I pay my bills like any adult in Nairobi. I organize the never happening women-outings. I wake up early and sometimes sleep late as I envision driving my Ford F-150 Raptor through the 100 acres of tea plantations in Githunguri. I do a lot of Solo dates, visiting water and vintage spots in my leafy suburban area. Some people think its rural-like because of proximity to Nairobi, I don’t judge them. They are adults. 

But one thing I still struggle accepting is losing loved ones in adulthood. It feels like the more we age in number, the more we are forced to accept departures. You’d think that because you created a family of your own in Nairobi, you are making it in life until it’s someone you once knew, and you’ll have to carry them in your heart only.

The shock of it all is that the world moves on as if nothing happened. People still fall in love. Break up. Conductors will charge you the same way. The SuperMetro line at 6 pm will still be there. The Nairobi temperatures will drop, and the only Ice-skating zone is at Panari. JKL Live will still grill Hon. Duale and leave Kenyans confused. And flying to deliver that keynote speech cannot be postponed.

The only way I choose to get past this is by accepting death and being grateful that I got to be happy with one who was once a stranger. That we met, matched, laugh, and do life together. That forever is overrated if the present were absent. This way, I am an adult Babygirl.